Stealthy, like a jungle cat.

I like to play.

I play card games and sports and board games – I like to think running is a form of play. However, I also like to do random silly playful things for a laugh or just to entertain myself. (Let me be clear, I am not a practical jokester. I am more likely to poke fun at myself than to get laughs at someone else’s expense.) This is context for the next story about going to a Barnes & Noble bookstore.

It's June 2002 and we are visiting the B&N in San Jose on Stevens Creek Blvd, which is huge. Bringing in the fact that there is a video game store right next door makes it a double-whammy when it comes to time and money spent.

Wife was browsing the books, I let her know that I am going into the game store to shop for new Playstation goodies. She nods and we go our separate ways. After browsing the games with a critical eye, nothing strikes my fancy, so I head back into the bookstore.

I search for about a minute and see her from a distance - but she doesn’t see me. That’s when I decide to follow her around the store and see how long it takes her to notice.

It sounds simple, but it was harder than I anticipated for me to guess where she was going to randomly move or look next so I ended up having to take evasive action a couple of times – ducking behind a shelf, hiding behind a pillar, that sort of thing.

While wandering over to the magazine section, a man stands next to her (which I though odd considering the topics of the magazines.) I find out later this is the conversation that transpired:

He says, “Ok, I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but don’t turn around. There’s this guy following you around the store looking suspicious and it’s pretty creepy.”

She is a bit shocked and scared for a split second but thinks for a moment and asks, “Wait, does he have a blue baseball cap on and a black t-shirt?”

He says, “Yeah, he does, do you know him? Is he stalking you?”

She says, “Well, yeah, that’s my husband.” She then turns around and looks right at me and does not look happy.

The man says something along the lines of, “Oh, well ok then.”  He quickly walks away.

She approaches me a bit embarrassed and, deciding not to buy anything, we leave promptly.

I still play this game sometimes which I have named “stalking my prey”. Personally, I think I’d make a great secret agent, if only I could perfect my “inconspicuously hiding behind a pillar” technique.