Effective jingle work from the people at Starburst

It’s 2007 in Kusadasi (aka Ephesus) and we are in a group of about a dozen others being led through the ruins by a middle-aged woman with red hair and a loud voice. She talks about the age of some of the buildings, identity of the statues and meanings of the various designs. Most people are listening half-heartedly, but I try to pay attention and soak in as much as possible.

We reach the ancient library and I start to tune into the fact that our tour guide may be phoning it in. She doesn’t mention that this library was actually constructed as tomb, which was unique in that it was within city limits and, well, the guy’s burial chamber served as the repository for thousands of scrolls. It’s at this point that I notice a particular speech pattern in her delivery of: state a fact, ask if you believe that fact, and then repeat the fact. For example, “There were once thirty thousand people living here. Can you believe there were thirty thousand people living here? Well, that’s how many people lived here – thirty thousand people.” I split off from the group.

We walk to the local amphitheater and I eavesdrop on another tour guide. Evidently, only acoustic performances are allowed there after some damage was done by a concert with electric amps. It seems the ancient stones don’t like the massive vibrations of modern rock music.

I hear my wife yell to me from the back row at the top of one of the aisles. I yell back and it’s amazing how the acoustics just carry the distance. She asks me to sing something while she records with her camera. Now, I am not a singer-dancer type. Others turn their cameras on to record the acoustics as well and I freeze up. I can’t think of any songs I know the words too – complete music amnesia.

She continues to urge me to start singing, so I start in on the first thing that pops to my head: a commercial for a type of Lifesavers candy that is berry and cream flavor. They have this kind of creepy guy that plays a 1800s British lad that does this song and dance for berries and cream called the Little Lad Dance. The lyrics are:

Berries and cream, berries and cream
I’m a little lad who wants berries and cream

People seem confused but at least satisfied that someone did something, so I count it in the win column. If I could go back in time, I would probably sing a Brak song instead, but I am still happy I got a chance to perform in a coliseum without being chased by wild animals.